Grab Somebody Sexy
by Inuyoshie
Summary: When faced with the question of who is on top, Cross and Tyki would rather agree to disagree and bring in a third 'friend'. Who happens to be Komui. Warning: This is fairly cracky. CrossxKomuiXTyki. May be continued later.


Grab Somebody Sexy Tell 'Em…

By Inuyoshie

Rated M?

Pairing: CrossXKomuiXTyki

Tyki frowned as he was pinned to the wall by a fairly aggressive Cross Marian. No no, this wouldn't do.

When Tyki shook his head, Cross took a step back, frowning at the Noah.

"What?" he asked flatly. "Am I going too fast?"

"No," Tyki replied pleasantly. He actually didn't mind the aggression. But… "I'm not going to be on bottom,"

Cross coughed into his glove and frowned.

"Neither am I," he replied firmly. Tyki sighed.

"I go inside of people," the Noah clarified, gesturing with his hand.

"So do I," Cross replied.

"On a regular basis," Tyki frowned.

"Yeah, same here," Cross shrugged. Tyki smacked his forehead with his palm. "Look, we can't both be on top,"

"Hmm yes," Tyki nodded, thinking. "We could fight over it,"

"I like this house," Cross shook his head, palming his gun. "And I'm not into blood-play," Tyki shrugged in a 'to each his own' gesture.

"… What about a third member?" Tyki suggested after a moment.

"You mean like a threesome?" Cross blinked. Tyki nodded.

"I could go call a particular lady I know-"

"She'll probably charge us both," Cross muttered. Tyki gestured to the rather nice house Cross was staying at with a raised brow. "I'm just borrowing it from someone,"

"Hm. Do you have a better plan?" Tyki wanted to know. Cross paused, and then smirked a bit.

"Yes I do." He stated, digging into his coat. Tyki watched as the General pulled out a folded up picture.

"You have a picture of her?" he asked with a smidge of disbelief.

"Him. He's cute," Cross replied, showing Tyki the photo. The male was a young Asian fellow with curly dark hair, pointy spectacles and an endearing goofy smile. Tyki took note of his uniform.

"He's Dark Order," he said.

"Just a supervisor, no Innocence. Komui Lee, that's his name," Cross replied. "I could get him here pretty easily,"

"Would we need to tie him up?" Tyki asked, purely curious.

"No, not likely," Cross shook his head, looking about for a telephone. Tyki sighed, twirling the picture between his gloved fingers.

"His face looks familiar," he remarked, thinking. "Not him but…"

"A relative? Yeah, he's got a little sister. You've probably met her," Cross didn't elaborate, playing with the telephone cord idly as he waited to be transferred. "Hello? Yes, I need Komui,"

Tyki raised an eyebrow at Cross' wording.

"Hey. My Innocence broke. Come out here and fix it," Cross growled into the phone after a few moments. Tyki could hear some indignant chatter from the other end of the phone and Cross rolled his eyes. "Duh. I'm kinda close. Try to hurry, there's a Noah on my ass," Tyki tried not to snicker. "No, I'm not going there," Cross paused. "Sure, let's go with that. What are you, the damn Spanish Inquisition? Get your ass over here before – it jams, I can't fire it," Cross scowled. "That's _important_." Cross waited and rattled off his address. "Don't bring anyone else, or I'll leak about that incident in Fiji. Yes, _that_ one." Cross hung up the phone and stretched.

"He'll be here," Cross stated proudly. "I'm getting something to drink,"

"So this will solve our problem?" Tyki followed Cross into the kitchen, curious.

"Yep. Komui's pretty submissive," Cross pulled out a bottle of whiskey and poured himself a shot.

"You usually take wine," Tyki stated.

"Saving it," Cross shrugged. "It helps if he's drunk," Tyki pursed his lips.

"That takes time," he complained.

"You're impatient," Cross shrugged, downing his whiskey. Tyki sighed, glancing down at himself.

"I'm going to have to go into my white form, aren't I," he mourned.

"Not necessarily," Cross shrugged.

"Do you really want this supervisor spilling that you're sleeping with a Noah?" Tyki wanted to know.

"They don't like me up there anyways," Cross shrugged again. "I don't care," Tyki frowned. "Unless you'll get in trouble with your people,"

"We're supposed to kill you," Tyki replied.

"That's what makes it all the more exciting," Cross stated, pouring another shot of whiskey. He offered the bottle to Tyki, who shook his head. "Stuck up,"

"That tastes like acid," Tyki defended himself.

"You've consumed acid?" Cross raised an eyebrow.

"It was a dare," Tyki replied.

"Hm." Cross drank his second shot.

Three hours later, the bottle was gone, Cross was sprawled on the ground (with Tyki sitting on him) and the doorbell was ringing. Tyki got up and headed down the hall to the ornately decorated front door, curious. Peering through the eye slots on the top of the door, Tyki recognized the Asian fellow, Komui was it? Yeah… Tyki turned around, fluffed his hair to hide the brow symbols and popped his dapper top hat on. Once properly preened, Tyki opened the door.

Komui had several boxes of what looked like machinery and tools. His beret looked hastily placed and his hair and glasses were slightly askew, indicating that he had hurried to arrive. Komui squinted at Tyki and tipped his head. Tyki frowned slightly- did the man recognize him? If he did, that would be a problem, as Cross wasn't conscious.

"Um, hi," Komui greeted. "Is, Cross Marian around? Please be honest, he tends to want to hide,"

"He's this way," Tyki replied smoothly, smiling a tad. Komui stepped in, awkwardly hefting his cases. "I'll take those for you,"

"..Okay," Komui handed them off to Tyki, who winced at their heaviness. He lugged the junk over to a side and placed them down as gently as possible. Komui looked up and noticed Cross standing in the doorway.

"There you are," he stated, sounding only slightly wasted. Komui frowned.

"Where's Judgment?" he asked. Cross looked around shiftily. "You don't know where your Innocence is and you're in a house with a Noah."

Tyki blinked, looking down at himself in confusion. Cross shot him a look.

"How-"

"You have grey skin," Komui remarked flatly.

"He's much more fun when he's drunk," Cross remarked.

"It's umber thank you," Tyki retorted, adjusting his gloves. "Well, now that our third member is here, shall we start?'

Cross shrugged, setting his (mostly empty) bottle of alcohol down. Komui got a really bad feeling about this, and his bad feeling increased when he felt the Noah fellow put a hand around his shoulders.

"Um…" Komui protested as he was lead over to a rather nice looking couch. Cross swiftly crossed the room and started unbuttoning Komui's jacket. "Cross!"

"What?" Cross stared up at Komui seriously.

"…You didn't just call me out here to…uh, have sex with me, did you?" Komui asked Cross suspiciously.

"…Pretty much," Tyki shrugged. Komui smacked his forehead with his palm, sighing.

"Couldn't you have at least warned me!" Komui whined indignantly.

"I did. I mentioned Fiji, remember," Cross remarked, finishing the unbuttoning of Komui's jacket and snapping it open. He scowled at the button-down shirt Komui was wearing under the jacket and started on that article of clothes. "You should wear less clothes,"

"I can't just go around in a jackaaah!" Komui scrunched up his face as Tyki brushed his gloved fingers across the back of Komui's neck. "Why's _he_ here?"

"Don't be so hostile," Tyki chided Komui, tipping him onto the couch. He collapsed awkwardly on the furniture, his shirt and jacket slipping slightly. Cross pinned Komui to the couch, sliding the jacket off of the supervisor. Komui bit his lip, his face flushing darkly. Tyki sat next to him, taking a firm hand to Komui's wrists and another hand to the side of Komui's face, using it to tilt his face up slightly. Komui felt tense, nervous, exposed. Cross' actions below Komui's waistline were ignored by Komui, his attention on the dangerous killer smoothing his hands across the scientist's neck and chest. Komui dared to squirm a little and Cross gave him a serious look, resting his elbows on Komui's bare thighs as if they were railings.

"Is it the gloves?" he asked. Tyki frowned.

"I like my gloves," he insisted. Cross shrugged. It was true.

"Well… no…" Komui looked uncomfortable. "I didn't…uh, come alone,"

Around that time, the door was kicked in. The team of Exorcists sent out to find Cross (mainly Lavi and Allen) had been working on picking the locks on the front door and had finally made it in. The (unlucky) group trooped into the parlor and froze at the sight in front of them- Komui, in the nude, pinned to a couch by a mostly naked Cross with a Noah sitting next to Komui and fondling him something fierce.

There was a silence.

"… Oh come on, this isn't the worst position you've seen me in," Cross stated blithely.

/Inuyoshie's After the Chapter Special/

So yeah.

This was based off of an odd (hot) picture I found on zero-chan. I showed it to my peep, Rayna Lissesul, who was all like 'OMG you gotta write this' so I did, with her help. She came up with the plot. I did the writing.

Writing threesomes is hard!

My mom (who also is an authouress) says that writing sex scenes is a lot like battle sequences: positioning is very important, as are sensory details, but too much makes it garish.

I agree with the first point, positioning.

No lie.

So indeed. I hope I gave at least someone a nosebleed.

Oh. And…

It's not gay if it's a threeway.


End file.
